ARCHIVES

Minimum wage workers in NY to undergo mandatory ethnic sensitivity training


Serious measures are being taken to prevent AOC's cultural appropriation of Asian culture from happening again

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s speech in Chinatown last week sparked outrage in the nation as her down-to-earth, relatable Valley girl accent was replaced by racist Asian dialect during the talk she gave to a primarily Chinese-American audience.


AOC pronounced her “L”s as “R”s and alluded to harmful Chinese stereotypes during the speech, making statements such as, “There’s no shame in being math genius but not good at driving car,” and, “Running family restaurant is honorable not only to ancestor but to America, whose people love some good Kung Pao chicken.”


Although Chinese-Americans’ quiet natures did not allow for them to have the courage to step forward and speak about the incident themselves, noble Caucasian defenders of Chinese culture acted as spokespeople for Asian-Americans everywhere. These bold multiculturalists called for action to be taken to prevent similar incidents from occurring in the future - action which they justly received.


In response to AOC’s uncharacteristic, shocking display of cultural appropriation, new legislation has been passed in her home state of New York. The new law, brilliantly designed to take out the issue at its core with New York’s working class, dictates that all minimum-wage employees operating within the state’s boundaries must pass a government-approved ethnic sensitivity training course before being allowed to continue working at their jobs.

“This type of exploitation of Chinese culture is unacceptable and extremely harmful,” spoke Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi in reference to the incident, “The truth of the matter is that it’s not AOC’s fault that she accidentally misappropriated Chinese culture. The blame lies with wage-earners, whom innocent Alexandria was influenced by during her days before she was in Congress.”

Sadly, some common laborers are in denial about the seriousness of the incident. When interviewed for his thoughts on the new law, half-Chinese/half-African-American young bartender Steve Chang commented, “It does not make sense. I barely make enough money to live in this over-priced city! Now I must, on my own time, go be trained on how not to be a racist because some politician I have nothing to do with said some things? Are we just scapegoats for higher ups to avoid facing consequences for their actions?”


Apparently, toxic stereotypes are just, “some things,” to the New York proletariat. This highlights the severity of the deep-seated issue of racism in the state that the progressive new laws will hopefully remedy.

Indian-Owned Casino Hosts Fundraiser to Combat Cultural Appropriation


Grand prize is two-night stay in casino's Roman Emperor Suite

From sports teams to cigarette packaging and car insurance firms, images portraying harmful stereotypes of Native American victims have been misappropriated and adulterated for centuries, even after the Indian mass extinction tantamount to the Nazi Holocaust brought on by the white slave-owner rapist animal torturers with huge, dirty facial hair carrying disease that colonized the United States.


The Three Rivers A’Rollin’ Casino & Mega-Suites in North Dakota wants to give white people a chance to make up for their checkered past. The Spirit Lake-tribe owned and operated casino will be holding a fundraiser dinner in their Regal Banquet Hall next month so that descendants of the blood-thirsty, white man can exchange their money for peace of mind that they’re doing something to stop cruel cultural appropriation.

“It’s like giving ten dollars to a homeless man on a street corner,” remarked Casino owner and shaman, Dandy Deep Pocket. “You don’t care what they’re going to do with the money, if they’re really gonna use it to fill their belly as their sign promises or if it’s going to fuel a drug or alcohol addiction. You couldn’t give two pebbles where the money goes. No, what matters is that you feel good inside. You’ve done your part to help the poor. You’re an altruist, and your heart is now joyous in confirming that you’re a good person. That’s what this is about! Tickets are on sale now at our brand new website www.IndulgencesForTheRedman.com Even if you aren’t going to attend the fundraiser, you can donate to our cause there and feel better about yourself today!”

Tickets will get fundraiser-attendees entered into a drawing for a multitude of prizes that the casino is offering. The grand prize is a two-night stay in the luxury Roman Emperor Suite.  Other prizes include a romantic, moonlit dinner in the casino’s own 4-star dining establishment, Tail Feather Steakhouse & Bar opened by award-winning chef and Food Network star Buffalo Brandy, prime seating to a show of winner’s choice at the neighboring Soaring Eagle Theatre, who generously donated tickets as a tax write-off, and 100 free tokens to spend on the just-opened Totem Pole slot machines.

Postmodern "Mona Lisa's Vagina" painting to replace DaVinci portrait at the Louvre


"Art needs to reflect the modern age, so the classics need a deconstructionist update," says queer artist Pierre LaFlaire.

Michele M. F. / Flickr


“When I look at my paintings, I see a mirror of the present to its simultaneous progression and madness. To history, I say va te faire foutre for oppressing my people for centuries. Now is our time to sparkle,” Pierre LaFlaire, French painter and icon of the LGBTQI+ community revealed to The Hubris Herald in an exclusive interview.


The subject of the sit-down was LaFlaire’s avant-garde masterpieces. His specialty is what he calls “deconstructing the classics,” and he has made a name for himself with his contemporary re-imaginations of famous paintings of ages past, such as “The Re-Birth of Venus,” which features a trans-woman emerging a-new from a seashell and “The 2016 Scream,” a testament to the modern horrors of the Trump administration.


His most successful painting, however, is his minimalist abstract acrylic “Mona Lisa’s Vagina,” which celebrates our culture’s revelation of the superiority of women and champions the discoveries of feminist science.


After the Postmodern Expression of Neo-Art Society ushered the work of art into their world-renowned living classics hall of fame and accusations coincidentally arose from an anonymous source accusing Leonardo DaVinci of molesting their great-great-great-great-great-great aunt’s cousin’s co-worker, it was decided that LaFlaire’s piece would take the place of the original “Mona Lisa” portrait’s featured spot at the Louvre Museum in Paris.

“Our current advanced scientific age has enlightened us to the knowledge that the vagina is the most important part of the woman, and my passion for painting expresses that melding of the art and the science into a beautiful, shimmering reflection on our society as a whole,” LaFlaire commented on the inspiration behind the piece.

“Mona Lisa’s Vagina” will be unveiled at the Louvre next month, and LaFlaire is already planning a “twerking rave after-party” on the grounds of the Eiffel Tower to celebrate following the official release. More details to follow.