Marxist T-Shirts to be Sold Through Multi-Level Marketing

Updated: Jun 5, 2019

Marxist Student Association reaches crowdfunding goal, confirms anti-capitalist t-shirts will be sold through multi-level marketing

“We thank all of our investors for making it possible, and will make the shirts available to them at below market prices”

by Valarie Lennon

The Marxist Student Association at Humbolt State University believes capitalism should not just be for capitalists. The student group recently launched a crowdfunding campaign to raise capital to fund its anti-capitalist t-shirt company. The group quickly reached its fundraising goals and has offered discounts on t-shirts to their investors.

The student group will also establish a multi-level marketing program similar to Amway. The family room-type sales meetings will be called Engels Engagements. They have tested them in dorm rooms with great success.

“What better way to promote anti-capitalism than by selling some t-shirts,” said Yahya Turner, Marketing Director for the Marxist Student Association.

“Plenty of Humbolt students have Che t-shirts, but they want more options.”

While t-shirts are the first items to be sold, Yahya has told investors that more products are coming. By late summer, the group should also be marketing Gulag glo-sticks, Che scented candles and a Fidel footwear line. Proletariat pretzels and Trotsky tots should be available just in time for holiday food shopping.

Turner noted, “The Gulag glo-sticks are ridiculously popular, especially among the professors. Many of them want to sell them to their students. The markup we can get is totally ridiculous.”

When questioned about the Humbolt State Marxist Student Association’s commitment to Marxism, Turner replied, “Just as Stalin said that you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, you can’t promote anti-capitalism without a little capitalism. I think it was Stalin who said that, maybe it was Lenin. Anyway, it was some Marxist somewhere, I’m almost positive. We are all committed Marxists, we just want to be rich ones.”